The WoT Chronicles
by Lanfear Lady of Chaos
Summary: A collection of Wheel of Time poetry.
1. Don't Get Killed Hot Mat haiku series

Hot Mat is not Maz

Hot Mat is hotter than Maz

Don't get killed, Hot Mat.

x

There's no cars in WoT

But people get run-over

Don't get killed, Hot Mat!

x

Hot Mat is so hot

But he has to cross the street

Don't get killed, Hot Mat.

x

To fight the gholam

Mat must cross the bloody street

Don't get killed, Hot Mat!!


	2. Haiku, Limerick and Diamante

Up in Emond's Field

Crossing the street is easy

They only have one.

xxxx

**Silverpike**

A glimpse of sharp teeth

Hiding among the rushes

Devouring prey

xxxx

**Obsessed**

There once was a girl reading WoT

She loved it right down to her gut

Hot Mat is so cool

Fighting a duel

With medallions and swords that cut.

**Saidar/Saidin**

Saidar

joyful, light

living, calming, glowing

Aes Sedai, women-men, Asha'man

sickening, fighting, tainted

filthy, dark

Saidin

**Creator/Shai'tan**

Creator

clean, impartial

supporting, helping, rising

light, creation-death, darkness

dragging, damning, falling

lying, twisted

Shai'tan


	3. The Breaking of the World

The ancient sign of the strongest within the Light,

the united Aes Sedai, strong and pure, always.

Light.

strength.

life.

Revenge was always a constant in life. The men who fought

the hardest, corrupted for ever more.

tortured.

cursed.

doom.

They broke the world, shaking the mountains

down around them. Splitting the valleys beneath their feet.

falling.

destroyed.

death.

Voices cried out in terror for salvation from those

who were their protection. Called out to the Light

praying.

terror.

death.

At last the world was silent. The last of those who were the purest,

fell dead. Down upon the changed and broken earth.

relief.

silence.

death.

The prophecy was made as the world reeled.

He who would be born upon the Mount would save them, and break them again.

destiny.

fate.

death.

The symbol of what is feared most of he who will save, and destroy.

Scrawled on the door in the dead of night, the darkness within marked for all to see.

evil.

darkness.

death.

Those who speak their minds separated from the rest

picked out from the midst as the wolves circle the lambs.

innocent.

helpless.

death.

Not always evil, but chosen by those who call themselves the Children

and believe they are pure, cloaked in light.

corrupted.

twisted.

death.

The Fang is only yet the beginning, for those who are marked

will disappear into the blackness to never be seen again.

malicious.

tainted.

death.

Unnoticed by the mob, the true foe slips into the night,

the one who belongs to the darkness, and gave it their soul.

evil.

darkness.

death.


	4. Scotty the Gholam

Oozing gently 'neath the door,

Sliding through the window.

The Gholam come to take some souls,

Everyone is game.

They have no mercy,

Feel for none,

Their lives they must preserve.

By ripping throats of careless ones,

And sipping at their blood.

To all the world they slowly come

To save us from our peril,

They're all corrupt, but there's just one

Who stands out from the rest.

His name is Scotty,

An English bloke

Who's mighty polite, yet mean;

He turns himself into Oosquai,

An intoxicating Aeil drink,

This draws the attention of the one who bears

The medallion to kill him.

The foolish man (whose name was Mat),

Started drinking deep,

As the Gholam chuckled loud,

The man didn't realize though,

And drank all of him down.

Out of a hole where the sun don't shine,

Scotty, he emerged,

To terrorize two little men,

But first make conversation.

They talked a bit, but then revealed

His evil English self,

Then he went, and attacked the boys,

And someone turned out the lights.

Mat, in a small barrel he hid,

And Rand held up some eyes,

While Scotty went to terrorize,

The other man instead.

Mat, from the barrel he emerged,

And Rand he congratulated,

While Scotty crept up like a cat,

And scared Mat out of his mind.

Mat just valiantly ran away,

As the wolfish Perrin came to play,

And throw things at Scotty's head.

They started to pummel him with stuff,

All having to do with "fox",

But Scotty, being his kind old self,

Informed them of the pendant.

On Mats chest, this they did find,

And they shone it in Scotty's face.

Scotty shrank and leapt away,

But no matter how hard he tried,

They got it in contact with his skin,

And burned up his insides.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Don't get it? Go read WoT now? the webcomic! Link in my profile.


	5. A Fading Light

The Light will prevail!

It must! It must,

Or all hope is lost.

Darkfriends are plenty,

standing against the world outside.

Seeping in amongst the righteous,

like Silverpike they multiply.

The blemished world is writhing,

with darkness, like a plague.

We must unite beneath a single flag!

To rid the west of the bloody scum

or all hope is lost.

All hope is lost.

Breaking free is the Dark One

coming from his flaming bore.

Shadowspawn sprout from his ears,

Forsaken from his eyes.

Filling minds with deadly dreams

and evil, dirty lies.

The dream of Light is simple;

A utopia for all.

But why are there corrupted ones

to try and make is fall?

Each day the sickness spreads,

destroying as it goes.

Blood and bloody ashes!

No one seems to know

of anything or anyone

To save the population.

Of coarse this must be done

or surely we will crumble.

But a Dragon is reborn,

a dirty, sickly man.

Prophesized to save us,

he begins to go insane

This crazy coot to rescue?

What justice does this show?

We are being punished

for reasons the Creator only knows.

Yes, the hope of Light is fading.

Darkness covers all

like a blanket, suffocating.

A slow and painful death,

the world is fated to.

That is why we must unite!

To drive away the evil spirits

and regain a long lost hope.

But who is left

courageous, still with a soul?

Not but one who would stand

against the Dark, so mighty.

And still this hope is weak.

The Light must prevail!

Or the world becomes a waste.

But all hopes have been drained,

sparks put out,

and spirits dampened.

A sickly world is left behind,

beneath a darkness glowing.

There must be something left,

a shred of decency.

And those who can will harness it;

The weight of fate

dragging them to their knees.

A tiny effort it will be,

but an effort all the same.

Our only chance to beat the Dark

at this evil, twisted game.


	6. Scotty the Gholam take 2

Squeeshy and all shifty like

He crawls beneath the door

Quite as a hungry pike

He swiftly crosses the floor

Maybe you shouldn't have had that drink

Wait where did that guy go

OI! He went into the sink

Well fine, be that way and go

One moment your reaching for your glass

You chug it down, worm and all

The next he's comin out your ass

The pain causing you to fall

He comes out, yet not all the way

He leaves his boot in just for fun

With inspiration a dimming ray

He decides to flippin run

He got out of there in record time

He well and truly split

He moved so fast he missed the chime

He slipped on the linoleum and fell into a pit

So as they say in Trolloc land

"HEY YOU SHUT UP AND PASS ME THAT HAND"


	7. Rand the Polygamist

Rand al'Thor is a polygamist

(in training, so they say)

For he has at least three girls

with a kid along the way.

x

The first is Min, who started it all,

with her 'auras' and 'visions of love'

in Whitebridge Rand just gave her a call

and they've been together ever since.

x

The second is Elayne, the fine daughter-heir,

(Rand literally fell in her lap)

She has long, golden blond hair

and most would call _her_ a ditz.

x

Aviendha is last, the 3rd of the girls,

a former Maiden of the Spear

You touch her and you she'll hurl.

Says she; "E had twins. I was hungry. I ate them."

x

So are the bitches of Rand, our hero

(or so he wants us to think)

he's the Dragon Reborn and you he'll blow

up if you cross him at all.


	8. Rand the Polygamist take 2

Rand al'Thor is a polygamist

(in training, so they say)

For he has at least three girls

with two kids along the way.

x

First is Elayne, the rose of the bunch,

The heir to Andor.

And around her finger she

Can easily wind al'Thor.

x

The next is Min, who started it all,

(she saw the 'square' and winced)

In Whitebridge they hit it off

And they've been together since.

x

Aviendha is last, the fierce one,

An old Far Dareis Mai,

She likes to run and kill men

You touch her and you will die.

x

These are the girls of Rand, our hero,

(At least, that's what _he _thinks)

And he's in charge of them all,

Or at least until they link.


End file.
